My #1 song for the decade 2010-2019 - from the Broadway play Dear Evan Hansen - For Forever as sung by Ben Platt (a Best Actor Tony awardee - very well-deserved)
Suicide and mental health have gone front and center as things discussed openly nowadays. Today's kids are so lucky.
The Tony-award winning play Dear Evan Hansen touched me so much when I first heard it. I was weeping listening to the songs. My God, if they stage it here, I would have to bring lots of tissues, because I might be bawling watching the musical!
Nobody talks about suicide and killing themselves when I was young. The stupid priest just told me curtly "You will go to hell!" And I promptly said back "Fuck you Father, I am already in hell, you heartless asshole". Some priests never listen. They are in their ivory towers, forgetting that we are just human and we have moments of weakness.
When I wanted to jump off a UP building in my third year in college, I had to process all my feelings of depression and failure all my own. I never told a soul because it was too embarrassing to admit to people that I was a failure and my young life then was falling apart.
Tell it to my family? Patawa! I come from such a high-achieving family, failure is not an option. Failure is for losers. Or so I thought in my young innocent head.
Buti na lang I was a vain faggot and son-of-a-bitch that I didn't want a disfigured and mangled face and body on my coffin, so I decided, fuck it, just go to Vinzon's and face up to your failures. It's not the end of the world.
And buti na lang I did not kill myself, LOL. I wouldn't have seen Madonna live in London and sing 'Crazy For You' along with her or bump into Maria Sharapova and Serena Williams in Wimbledon. Or say hi to Patrick Swayze and Juliette Lewis in the West End.
Life is strange. Sometimes, you are down in the dumps, and sometimes the Lord rewards you with experiences you can only dream about!
So to young people who want to kill themselves. Just hang in there.
All your dreams will come true and much much more. God will give you amazing experiences if you only work for it. He is incredibly generous and loving.
I know it's such a cliche, but when you are down, the only way is up.
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